Under Water, A date with a DR, and an amazing date ruined on a crazy girl.

14 women left and already I can’t stand Michele, but she’s not stupid she wants to be an actress and has a movie (?) coming out, ha! How crazy can you look in the promo, if your Michele pretty darn crazy.

We start the day with Michele waking up with a black eye and I am sure more than one girl sitting in that house was wishing they had given it to her. Of course she thinks she “deserves” the one on one date because she has a black eye, she also probably thinks she deserves an Oscar for her new movie, well keep dreaming girl. Chris comes and explains all the dates again and he is wearing Mr. Rogers sweater how can they even concentrate on what he’s saying, if he changes it before he leaves that’s it I am not watching another minute, ok Chris safely leaves the date card and thankfully doesn’t change his sweater or call them neighbors. The pretty red head reads off the date card and it says, “Chantal- How deep is your love? Brad ooooh are they going deep-sea fishing??? Chantal is of course so excited and the witch I mean Michele has the look of death. Honey, go put some concealer on and stop your bitching.

Brad comes in to get Chantal and of course Michele makes it all about her and now I am wishing I gave her the black eye and so is Ashley apparently ha I knew I liked that girl even if she cant sing. They are waiting for their ride and cue the helicopter, the next person who picks me up in a helicopter I will marry, just saying.  Chantal is adorable and so excited about this date and scared to mess this up. That may be the first time I have heard a girl fear being the one who messed up, I like this one she’s a keeper. Away they go to Catalina Island and they are going under water, just like I did on my date with Charlie in Aruba. Chantal is scared to death of deep water and you can see it in her face. Its so cool to see them under water and they even get to talk to each other that is amazing we didn’t to do that.

Back at the mansion the second date card arrives and Michele is of course bitching, I am over her. Date card is read and Ashley S, Lindsey, Stacey, Megan, Alli, Lisa, Ashley H, and Jackie. Of course all of the girls are excited for their date and all they know is they are putting their love on the line which could mean so many things, are they going to walk on a Tightrope because that’s not something to be excited about, hmmmm?

On Catalina Island my girl Chantal is being real which we haven’t seen too much of this season with some of these girls. They go to the beach where there is a beautiful set up and they lay down and start talking about Chantal’s marriage, why it didn’t work, and if she wants to get married again. When I see them together it’s like watching a couple that has been together forever there is not an awkward moment between them.

In the Looney bin Michele is crying to Ashley about how she can’t sleep or eat.  Michele asks to be left alone and Ashley should probably run as fast as she can because Michele could blow at any minute.

Brad and Chantal are still chatting it up like old lovers and they are amazing together. Ok pack it up kids we can all go home now, she has to be the one he ends up with. Brad offers her the rose and it starts raining super romantic and brad tells us he wants to take her hand and run away, how cute is that.

Everyone is excited for their group date and in the limo they go. Wait does that mean its only Michele and Chantal alone in the house, that can’t be safe. The girls arrive and they are going to see Dr. Drew at Love line radio. I wish I could take every one of my dates to Dr. Drew on a first date that would save me a hell of a lot of work. Brad sits with Dr Drew and they talk about how this date is a test to see which girls he is compatible with. Some of the girls already look like they are about to panic; Dr Drew is a tough critic and can get through the bullshit quick this could get ugly.

Cut to Michele complaining again, this time to poor sweet Emily about how she has to get a date this week and that she cant wait another week for a date and how hard it is to watch all the other girls go on dates. Last time I checked their were 14 woman in that house who all feel the same way and don’t complain about half as much as this crazy one does. I actually feel for Emily right now.

The girls are brought in to the studio and the girls get nervous right away. Brad of course gets right into it and talks about how he is here for all the right reasons and how he has never cheated. Dr drew turns and asks the girls if any of them have cheated, 1st of all who is going to admit that and on national television, then my east coast pal Stacey is the one honest girl in the bunch and admits that it happened on a drunken college night, good girl honesty is the best policy right? Brad talks about he doesn’t have a “type” and how it’s all about a connection and the ability to just be him self with whomever he chooses. The girls talk about they have walls up, well ladies this is not the time to have a wall up you on the bachelor there are no walls allowed. Ps I am kind of yawning right now, this is a boring date so far. By the way, who is blonde the girl saying she wants to get to know him, has she been on since the first episode?  They are all at Dr Drew and the girls are opening up and I’m falling asleep.

Brad takes the girls back to his house, well not his house its also the house Dave and Natalie made out at during pad, and Justin Rated R walked to it on Ali’s season, you get the drift. Ashley H is complaining about how Brad is already with another girl and how feelings are erupting out of her and she needs to control herself or she will be erupting into the pool by the hands of one of the other girls. Stacey gets some one on one time and it is about as awkward as falling in front of the classroom on you first day of school. All of the girls are starting to panic Alli gets to sit down and just as soon as she sits Ashley pulls him away with the whiniest voice I have ever heard. Can we talk about that for a minute, only because there is one every season. Why is it that some girls talk normal until they are around a boy and then the baby voice comes out? I mean we all know that’s not what Ashley sounds like so what gives? Ladies please no more baby voices it’s horrible, men want a woman not a storyteller. Every time brad talks to a girl someone comes and steals him away and the girls are getting intense and the dentist is falling apart.

Emily gets the date card and who else gets it but Michele, really. Of course my girl Chantal brings up the fact that every other date card had the word Love in it and Michele panics, good job Chantal make the witch sweat it out!

All the girls are in the pool and they are all trying to calm the dentist down and she is losing it. Ashley H is cracking under the pressure its great. Ohh it’s the blonde girl again, Brit, is her name ha and she tells him that she has a crush on him to cute and of course he seals it with a kiss.  They finish their kiss and Ashley H is lurking in the dark behind them, Creepy. Ashley H is whining and talking crazy about wanting to take a step back, I think she may have just sent herself packing.  Brad comes to the hot tub with the rose, just before he gives it away, Ashley H says how awkward it is and brad gets completely tongue tied. Ashley just screwed herself big time I think it was going to Ashley and when she opened he big mouth and Brit got it instead.  Ashley H says she thinks she ruined what they had and dear lord I hope so she went a little crazy on him tonight.

All the girls are standing around the kitchen now and all I keep thinking how much I miss my breakfasts in that kitchen.  Ashley H is crying about how she may have messed up whatever it was that she and brad had, and Michele starts complaining that it’s her day and Ashley needs to stop complaining. Hello Pot meet Kettle, wow this girl is off her rocker. I almost don’t want to watch this date at all because she drives me crazy. Brad comes in and pulls Ashley aside immediately to discuss what happened last night, he reassures her that he has feelings for her and she really needs to stick it out and that they have something very real. Meanwhile Michele must be dying inside and it makes me so happy to see her pissed off. Michele complains, I know big surprise, about how its unfair that Ashley is taking him away from her and Chantal calls her out for the way she acted in their stunt devil group date. Michele says she walked because of a moral issue and we all are laughing now because we watched that episode and she left because she is a spoiled brat and wanted attention and wasn’t getting it.  Point for Chantal and Michele looks like a fool as usual.  Brad walks in and the room goes silent and all the girls look like they are going to start fighting at any minute. Poor Brad I can’t wait till he see’s the real Michele, sends her home. Michele gets to the house and all she can talk about is how she can live like that. The helicopter comes and she is all excited to jump on board and fly away.  The chopper lands on a huge building and she is complaining, they are having dinner at a beautiful pool, but they have to repel down the building to get there. Bad acting, she is talking about how scared she is of heights, no tears and she got off a helicopter, bad acting if she was scared there would be tears and you could see it in her face and I see nothing not a thing. Brad is scared too but he is trying to make it better for her. Michele says it’s a leap of faith for love, what a joke the damsel in distress act has been done a million times and then they kiss hanging on the side of the building and America is now booing. The sad part is that this is a really cool date and we would all be cheering had it been any other girl in the house but it was wasted on her. Then she acts like she’s punching the other girls, are we 12? Ooh I am bitter sorry kid’s but this Michele character is annoying me and I wish she would be more honest about why she is there like saying, Michele actress seeing as that’s what she is instead of Hairdresser.  I mean she is playing the game well getting the TV time so the world will know who she is and well we do so really she’s doing a damn good job.  Michele and Brad sit a chat about life and it’s so hard for me to see anything past the act she puts on. This is a beautiful girl, I mean hands down anyone I know would say the same, but the way she acts man so not ok.  I was not a fan favorite on my season I am well aware of this but this girl is off, even I wasn’t that bad.

Its rose ceremony day and Brad meets with his therapist again.  Brad talks about how he feels like its hard to have chemistry with more than one girl in a night and the therapist basically says the same thing nana did “ you have to test drive the car before you buy it” ha just go with it brad when are you going to be able to do this again.

We are now at the cocktail party and he sits and chats with the girls.  All the girls are sitting around and Brad pulls Emily aside and has this little basket all set up and they go off alone together. The girls all panic and second-guess the feelings they think he has for each of them. Brad and Emily sit and talk about how they have missed each other and brad tries to recreate their last date. Emily looks so pretty in her little blue dress and they are pretty cute together. By the way nice red bottoms Emily my kind of girl!

Chantal O starts to get a little worked up about Brad and his connections with other girls. They get away for some one on one time and brad of course lets her know he is very into her and she needs to not be worried at all, sealed with a kiss of course.

Rose time, Ashley S, Alli, Emily, big surprise, Chantal N, Lisa, who is she again, Jackie, Marissa, who I don’t remember ever hearing her speak besides when she accepts the rose and last but not least Ashley H. WOW I get sending Stacey home I didn’t see much between them at all maybe she should have worn a shorter dress, but Megan I really liked, and Lindsay is so pretty and had a great head on her shoulders.

Ashley H better just keep her bags packed because if she keeps acting up she’s next to go home.  We see clips from next week and the girls find out their first stop on the journey will be Vegas and they all scream, let me just tell you from experience Vegas isn’t all its cracked up to be, sometimes you get sent home mid date, but hey at least it was a private jet. The girls get to be part of a show it looks like Shawntel gets a fire works show and a shopping spree and the very best part of that is Michele’s face when Shawntel starts showing all the girls her gifts. They go on a racecar date and poor Emily is of course on the date, which is just horrible, poor girl having to relive something so tragic in her life like that, I would have never been able to do it. All the girls look like they are starting to really fall apart and then they cut it just as Chantal O screams OMG as if we needed anything else to pull us in to next week.

As always I have so much to say, I hope you all enjoy my thoughts and know that it is all in fun. I know none of these girls and only comment on what I see. I’m already excited for next week and cant wait to se who gets sent home next!